Broken.

In that moment, I felt emotion involved in this state of affairs in it’s entirety.

It pushed the breath clean from my chest,

The intensity of the instant made my heart race, my face flush, my stomach churn.

I know what this is now.

What I have for him.

This isn’t nothing.

And if in the end, that’s what you choose it to be,

Then I hope you always remember it as a mistake.

This is your call, but if I could let you see what I do, through my eyes,

Maybe you wouldn’t suffer so blindly.

If I could lay your hand across my heart and let you feel as I do,

Maybe you’d run in fear, maybe you’d never leave.

It terrifies me.

Never in my life have I felt so safe and secure,

I’ve not known trust like this,

Ever.

A connection so strong between two fresh friends,

Is unusual, perhaps, serendipitous.

I doubt I’ll ever leave this behind, even if you choose to.

A part of this feeling will always be there,

Like a candle you just can’t dim.

The more I try to put the brakes on this infatuation

The more I realise it’s a futile attempt.

I am falling.

And although I wouldn’t admit it to you,

You’re the one who can catch me.

But maybe it’s me who has to cut the cord, and leave us both in peril.

Because I don’t think you’ve got the strength to save me from this fall.
But I know I don't have the strength at this point to recover either.
Hesitation.
Panic.
Flee.