Tomorrow they scan my brain for tumours and brain disease.
I'm going on my own, because there's nobody left to trust that I'll share my fear with.
Strength? Can't suffocate this fear before it suffocates me.
I don't want to ever leave Orion [motherless]. It's a painful burden to grow through.
In 21 days it'll have been 6 long years since my mum died from cancer.

Yellow.
A happy colour.
The colour I wore to her funeral,
The colour of her favorite roses (as are mine)
A theme for the cancer council,
A song by coldplay,
The colour of her eyes before she died,

I digress,
I avoid the fear, but it still strangles me inside, making it hard to breathe. My hands shake and my eyes, they cry.
What am I REALLY afraid of?
My past strangling my future.
Move on,
It's the past.
But you can't forget what created you.
Sequential tragic events shaped who I am now,
And I'm falling asleep now.